This edition of eelive.ng’s Book People spotlights Mary Bamidele, a young author who, after aspiring for greater independence at an early age, now inspires young women in her community.
Mary Bamidele’s father died when she was barely nine years old. This great loss would define her growth to this moment. Striving to be independent, she took up odd jobs to settle some of the bills at home. When she was 16, she took up a teaching job to avoid burdening her family with her needs. She had just finished her SSCE (Senior Secondary Certificate of Education) exams.
A Difficult Childhood
Bamidele’s preteen and teenage years saw her shy, reserved and often unsmiling. But amidst her rough childhood, she came out a stronger woman. Speaking to eelive.ng‘s Chidirim Ndeche, she said: “All the difficulties I experienced shaped me to be the strong, resilient, determined and independent lady I am today.”
Such a person may find it difficult to open up to people. She confirmed this by saying, “I didn’t have friends. My best buddies were the novels and hardcovers my elder sister borrowed from her friends.”
At school, Bamidele would often find herself engrossed in the latest American fiction she got from her sister. Her home was no different. She continued: “I got several tongue-lashings from my mum because I’d stay up half of the night reading, wasting away our precious candlesticks or the lamp.”
Growing Through the Pain
“All that reading made me so interested in books. It widened and sharpened my vocabulary and helped me understand how words are structured. Not long after, I started trying out my hand at story writing.” Years later, she would write a book that would be of great help to young women who are coming of age.
Every cloud has a silver lining, but when you are deep in a dark cloud, it might take a while to see the light. Young Bamidele studied in a federal all-girl secondary school in Epe, Lagos, where the students were notorious for being wayward and promiscuous.
According to Mary Bamidele, “Half of them got pregnant before or right after writing their SSCE. There was no effective structure that guided us girls on how to be “female and more”. We didn’t have the luxury of having [more experienced women] come to talk to us to influence us positively; all we got were sharp jabs and insults from teachers on how wayward and loose we were. Other public schools even looked down on our ‘intelligent girls’.”
From her social awkwardness as a teenager to the trauma she faced while in school, she realised that documenting her struggles and how she could have better handled them would benefit others who might find themselves in her shoes, or worse.
Get Over Your Hormones and Be That Girl
Her experiences birthed “Get Over Your Hormones and Be That Girl”. This educative self-help book teaches teenage girls how to channel their feelings and energy towards being more purpose-driven.
Teenage girls across Nigeria grapple with issues revolving around their sexuality, sexual attractions and their purpose in life. Their naivety doesn’t shield them from these experiences. So being prepared is a weapon they can use to handle them.
The author is passionate about grooming a new generation of extraordinary girls. “I wanted to rewrite the narrative about the girls in my community. I wanted to help them be more than just a lump of raging hormones. Not ‘loose, promiscuous girls without purpose or vision’ but purpose-driven girls who will represent the community well locally and globally.”
Blooming on Rocky Ground
Many creatives have sleepless nights over how an audience will receive their work. But this writer had no worries about publishing her first book. “I knew the girls would love the book; I structured the content in a jovial, casual, and relatable manner. In the book, I infused everyday catchphrases, slangs, and lines these girls use all the time. These are things they can relate well with, to ensure they have fun even while experiencing a mind-shift. I strongly believe that my book is an actual gem, a transformational agent for teenage girls everywhere if they let it.”
But she encountered a few challenges after the book was published. According to her, “My target audience — especially the teenage girls in my community — would rather buy the latest designer than get a book. Their parents or guardians weren’t any different.”
From Mary Bamidele’s findings, young girls in public schools would greatly benefit from the book. However, they had a below-average reading culture. “A person I reached out to for sponsorship told me the girls wouldn’t read the book, and it would be a waste of money to get it for them. While she was probably talking from experience, I believed that every girl deserved the benefit of the doubt.”
“So I tried all I could to reach out to anyone who could help our girls get access to the book. The Old Students Association of my alma mater, Epe Girls’ High School, ensured that some copies of the book were sponsored and delivered to the students. That helped considerably. And the feedback from the girls was worth it and more.”
“Before fresh wine can burst forth, grapes have to undergo a squeezing process.”
These were the words of her friend, Michael. In her over twenty years in this world, Bamidele has learned that every pain we experience has an underlying purpose. She said, “If I could go back in time to see my younger self, I’d give her a long warm hug, take her out to eat a nice hot meal and tell her not to worry too much. Everything happens for a reason, and she’ll turn out just fine.”
She then continued: “God has really been instrumental in bringing me this far, from giving me divine inspiration while writing to ordering my steps towards vision partners who made the journey to being a published author easier, and always coming through for me whenever I find myself in a fix. He’s been faithful, my biggest support system ever.”
Becoming a Better Writer
There is a fresh crop of young, creative writers representing us well on the global scope and Bamidele loves to see it.
People swear by many hacks or sure-fire ways of becoming a better writer. But these things stand true: reading widely and writing often. Bamidele shared some advice to those who plan to become good writers but don’t know how to begin. For reading, I’d recommend listening to audiobooks to widen your vocabulary and familiarise yourself with the pronunciation of certain words. One sure tip that’d help you write better is reading widely on the type of books or articles you’d like to write about. This helps you figure out what works and what doesn’t.”
Maria’s Nuggets
Now a penultimate student of English at the University of Ilorin in Nigeria, Mary Bamidele is a podcaster with a huge interest in broadcast media. She said, “I have always been interested in broadcast radio and all so when I stumbled upon podcasting, I was thrilled. Now that I think about it, what I love about broadcast media are talk shows specifically.”
The budding broadcaster now owns a fast-growing podcast called Maria’s Nuggets which has over 600 plays and fantastic reviews from listeners. The podcast covers mind-shifting, edutaining audio content revolving around life, career, purpose, love, relationships, girl talk, and everything in between.
The thought leader started Maria’s Nuggets in January 2020. She said, “It’s been a beautiful ride. I took a break from podcasting during the lockdown, and I can’t wait to get back to it now.” You can listen to her podcast HERE.
The pandemic has halted a slowed down a lot of academic activities in Nigeria. To anyone who feels like their life is on hold right now, Bamidele has a few words for you. “While you think your life is on hold due to the pandemic and its effect on the school system, life is still on the move. We need to come out of our comfort zone and learn to evolve with the new normal. Get creative! Think of what to do to make every day count, be relevant and make your dreams come true amidst the unpleasantness happening all around.”