Hollywood actress, Taraji Henson has recounted how she almost committed suicide at the height of the COVID-19 pandemic.
Discussing her dark moment with Psychologist, Dr. LaShonda Green, in the latest episode of Peace of Mind with Taraji, her new Facebook show, the American movie star said for days she couldn’t get out of her own bed, as the thought of killing herself almost overwhelmed her.
“I was in a dark place,” the Empire actress said. “For a couple of days, I couldn’t get out of the bed, I didn’t care. That’s not me. Then, I started having thoughts about ending it.”
Henson further revealed that at a point, she began pondering methods of suicide, and how her death may affect her son. “He’s grown, he’ll get over it,” she remembered telling herself.
The actress continued: “I just didn’t care. I felt myself withdrawing. People were calling me, I wasn’t responding … Finally, I’m talking to one of my girlfriends and I knew – I was smart enough to say, ‘I have to say it,’ because a part of me was ashamed. I was like, I don’t want them to think I’m crazy.”
Explaining that amid the self-harm thought she started withdrawing herself from her circle, Henson said: “People were calling me, I wasn’t responding; I just didn’t care.
“Finally, I’m talking to one of my girlfriends and I knew, I was smart enough to say, “I have to say it.” I was like, “I don’t want them to think I’m crazy.” I don’t want them to, you know, obsess over me or think they gotta come and sit on me.”
On how she overcame the situation, she said: “So one day I just blurted it out, to my girlfriend. She called me in the morning and I was like, ‘You know I thought about killing myself last night.’ And, [I said] ‘Oh my god, I feel so much better. I’m not gonna do it now.’”
Henson said that opening up about her thoughts helped her overcome them.
“For me, I’m no professional, but I felt like, if I don’t say it, it becomes a plan,” Henson said. “And what scared me, is that I did it two nights in a row. And the thoughts kept coming. Now I started think about how.
“At first, it was like, I don’t want to be here. And then I started thinking about going and getting the gun. And that’s why when I woke up the next morning, and I blurted it out. Because I felt like after a while it was going to take over me and it was going to become a plan because that’s how strong my brain is,” she added.
