TrueYarn: Pastor COZA Returns, Okoro’s Fake Blessing, Marley Unchained With 2m Naira

In this age of social media, if you blink twice, you may miss something. And because everything is now fast-paced, clarity is often lost in the noise of clickbait headlines, unending chatter of Twitter lords and visual excesses of Instagram sensations.

Enters TrueYarn to sift through the clutter, offer some insight, common sense and help you read between the lines of the ‘things wey dey happen for obodo Naija’.

Here goes:

Imade, the job-maker

If a four-year-old can start her own business, what are you doing with your life?

Imade ‘Genius’ Adeleke, daughter of Afropop star Davido, has conceptualized and developed her own line of hair care products called ‘Aurora by Imade’.

The aspiring mogul on Wednesday invited her superstar father, mother Sophie Momodu, among others, to the launch party of the beauty brand.

Her mother, who is perhaps her first employee, is expected to oversee the business while Imade is busy trying to navigate the complex playground of nursery school.

It appears the babypreneur is already taking a page from her father’s book.

Truly, we rise by lifting others.

Marley unchained with 2m Naira

Naira Marley, the veteran arrestee who is married to two wives and has four kids, is free again to associate with Yahoo Boys.

Despite being termed a “flight risk”, the ‘Fela’ of Yahoo Boys was granted N2 million bail by a merciful Lagos high court judge called Nicholas Oweibo.

Marley secures bail a few days after releasing what’s arguably his most bland song yet.

Why?

Pastor COZA returns

Headmaster of Instagram yard people, Timi Dakolo, says the founder of COZA is the ex-boyfriend of many “broken, sexually abused and mentally strangled” women.

According to the Bayelsa-born singer, Biodun Fatoyinbo is an international philanderer, with a string of damaged exes in Ilorin, Dubai, London and Abuja.

Dakolo’s table-shaking allegations are coming five years after a certain Ese Walters revealed she was once Fatoyinbo’s lover – a claim never denied by the swaggerlicious married pastor.

In making the damning accusation, Dakolo also noted that the act of dickmatising women is a COZA thing.

“I will tell you all straight up, all your branch pastors know about this evil going on for years and are part of it,” he wrote.

The last time Pastor COZA was accused in this manner, his only response was “God said be quiet”.

RMD, leave our happiness alone

Richard Mofe-Damijo, the Nollywood star loved by every woman, says “boob lift and butt enlargement” can’t give any woman happiness.

According to RMD, “weight loss, weight gain, butt enlargement, boob lift, marriage, buying/building your own house, having kids, wearing expensive clothes and shoes CANNOT make you truly happy”.

Meanwhile, Toke Makinwa, who is thriving in her new skin and is more joyous since her butt/hips enlargement, has vehemently disagreed.

RMD also added: “Anyone who can live without caring about the validation of others is the one who has found true happiness.”

In essence, the never-aging hunk is implying that no one is truly happy… because all humans crave validation.

Confusing.

Tonto’s curious N1OOm deal

Just when you think the days of inflating brand endorsement fees are over, Tonto Dikeh announces a nine-figure deal with Zikel Cosmetics.

Tontolet says the cosmetics company has empowered her with N100 million, making her the “first Nigerian to be paid a whopping sum of N100,000,000 per annum as endorsements for a makeup brand in Africa”.

So if the deal is for two years, the actress will pocket N200 million.

Hamazing sturvs, guys! It’s a great time to be a brand ambassador, innit?

Side-EYE

Okoro, evicted from a one bedroom apartment eight years ago, was recently ‘blessed’ with a seven-bedroom duplex.

Shortly after announcing her Blessing on social media, the “multi-millionaire” blogger was seen in handcuffs, kneeling and pleading with a certain Onye Eze.

Days later, Okoro and Eze are seen clinking wine glasses.

Season film.