In this age of social media, if you blink twice, you may miss something. And because everything is now fast-paced, clarity is often lost in the noise of click-bait headlines, unending chatter of Twitter lords and visual excesses of Instagram sensations.
Enters TrueYarn to sift through the clutter, offer some insight, common sense and help you read between the lines of the ‘things wey dey happen for obodo Naija’.
Here goes:
BBNaija gets a new sibling
Defender and saviour of Nigerian culture, Segun Runsewe, has been working overtime in recent weeks.
From declaring Tekno a threat to national security, the DG of National Council for Arts and Culture has now publicly expressed his long-suspected beef with BBNaija, a show loved and watched by millions of Nigerians.
Incensed by the persistent under-the-sheets activities of ‘Emotionless Gedoni’ and ‘Lovestruck Cop Khafi‘, Runsewe’s agency has lodged a complaint with the National Broadcasting Commission (NBC).
Runsewe says the exhibition of “love affairs on screen is not part of our culture” — because such matters should be undertaken in ‘the other room’ and hotel rooms.
Consequently, he will be working round the clock to make sure there will soon be a new BBNaija that is free of sex, reflective of “true Nigerian culture”, shown on Startimes-NTA and expectedly boring.
Happy viewing.
David owes the taxman
Davido has always been a trailblazer who has a knack for recording impressive feats at home and abroad.
The superstar’s latest achievement is finding himself among an illustrious group of tax debtors.
According to the Federal Inland Service (FIRS), Davido is in the same league as Obasanjo Farms, God is Good Motors and Slot Enterprises.
With his inclusion, Davido’s streak of disbursing freebies to his goons and fans may take a pause because the accounts of his record label will now be under the control of the FIRS.
Bummer.
Ludo Queen’s Blues
Enkay’s fate in the BBNaija house should serve as a lesson in being able to pretend and hide your true feelings — especially when on national television.
For refusing to play Ludo with Cindy and reacting condescendingly towards her, “humble” Enkay found herself making a premature journey back home from the BBNaija base in Ilupeju.
The Ludo Queen has since apologized, saying millions of viewers misunderstood her action and also noted that: “I will never look down on anyone, I am as humble as I can be.”
Please, humbly accept her apology.
Blackface the joker
Perhaps, Blackface could opt for a career in self-deprecating comedy since his talent for music appears to have joined the ancestors.
In the new update of Blackface’s latest antic, the ‘Hard Lifer’ is now suing former bandmates; 2baba Idibia and Faze.
Why? You ask.
2baba Idibia and Faze have been performing songs of Plantashun Boiz “without rehearsals and proper preparations”.
And as the head boy of Plantashun Boiz, Blackface will no longer allow the duo “damage the image of the band”.
A word is enough for the wise.
Igbokwe’s gutter affairs
Following his inclusion in the cabinet of Lagos governor Babajide Sanwo-Olu, Uncle Joe Igbokwe went to town with his praise of President Muhammadu Buhari.
Even when faced with immense criticism, Igbokwe remained unflinching.
And now, he has been rewarded with a very important position in Lagos; advising on the state of gutters, soakaways, and toilets.
According to one Twitter user, Igbokwe “will be held responsible for all the dirty smelling rats infested and broken soak away pipes” in the state.
Side-EYE
Last week, politicians joined many Nigerians in castigating Invictus Obi, the serial entrepreneur arrested by FBI for alleged $11m fraud.
What nerve!
How can a pig have an opinion about a gutter rat’s hygiene?
Inside Life.